Reunited Again

1 Thessalonians 4:16,17
'For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever.

Hello and welcome to One Breath From Heaven. If you are new here, please feel free to browse around. It is my prayer that you find comfort knowing that others are sharing your same path on this earth; that of losing a child.  May you be blessed

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I've been on this journey for awhile but it never fails to surprise me when I hear of the death of a child. While on Facebook this morning, I learned about another parent, a father, devastated over the loss of his beloved daughter. Inwardly I cringed, knowing all too well how he feels.

They say there are seven stages of grief. Maybe, but I have to disagree. Nothing in this world will ever fill the hole in your heart or your life ever again after the passing of a child. The stages repeat themselves over and over again, rearing their heads in various forms. Those of you that have been there know only too well.

Recently, the anniversary of my son's death passed. But grief did not. This time it felt like being on ground zero, starting the grieving process all over again. Friends prayed for me to help me through. I don't think they'll ever know how much it meant to me or the comfort it brought.

Whether you are knew to the journey or not, we have something to look forward to when  Christ returns and we reunite in that glorious moment.

Please say an extra prayer tonight for this gentleman and all, new and seasoned on the trail of one.

Blessings,

Mary Netreba

It's A Date

Psalms 147:3  He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds


Hello and welcome  to One Breath from Heaven. If you're new here, I'm so glad you stopped by. I began this site as a way to reach out to the newly grieving parents and those further along in the journey. But anyone can participate.

Most of us have an appointment book or a calendar on the wall in our kitchen and office. Modern technology also makes it simple with the touch of a button.

We make a note of a date because it of its importance.

 Birthdays are the most fun. So are wedding anniversaries. Both are joyful reminders that someone very important is a part of our lives.

But there's more to the story.

Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 makes it clear there is a time for everything including a time to be born and a time to die. Yet we're often surprised  when we hear of someone's passing. In the death of a child no matter what age, it's too much to comprehend. It isn't supposed to happen this way.

But it does.

There is something important to remember for those of us on this journey. (and those that are not).

We each have an appointed time. We'll join with our loved ones. What a day that will be. And then we'll also wait in anticipation of those that follow after us.

My son Donnie was welcomed into the presence of the Lord several years ago.  He began his new birthday the moment he left this earth. And this is a day worth remembering. A day worth celebrating.

Happy New Birthday Donnie.  Love, Mom

The Closest Long Distance Call

Luke 20:36

...and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels.  They are God's children, since they are children of the resurrection

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A few years ago my husband and I relocated to a different state. The first spring we were there, I decided to visit a well known greenhouse located about 35 minutes from where we lived. They carried the widest variety of 'cottage type' plants that you wouldn't normally see sold at competing greenhouses.

It was Saturday, bright with sunshine and warm. As I drove along, the driver side window rolled down and the scent of spring in the air, I allowed my mind to drift.  It was one of the few times I felt complete peace after Donnie's death.

I thought of all the things I wanted to do that day and planned them out in my head.

'When I'm done shopping for plants, maybe I'll stop for something to eat. When I get back home, I'll plant the phlox first and then the rose bushes. I think later on I'll call Donnie...'

How in the world could I have forgotten? It literally took my breath away. It hurt.

Just as swiftly it disappeared. Vanished like smoke. Donnie was safe. He was truly home.  While I couldn't talk with him, I certainly  could with God. I'm sure He passed the message along and if He didn't maybe He's waiting until we're all together again. And what a day that will be!

Until next time, Blessings!

Mary Netreba

Author Christian Fiction

 

Prince of Bel-air

Philippians 4:7 'and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ.'


In September of 1990 the USA was introduced to a television show called The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. 

My son Donnie was a seventeen year old.... a very rebellious one.  Our home became a battleground from first thing in the morning to the last thing at night. If I gave him a time to be home, he'd miss it.  When I said no to his idea of packing every possible friend in his car for a joy ride, he may have said okay, but I finally figured that one out too. And it was not okay. We lived in the country side (2 lane roads only).  This meant that if he went down the road one way and had to come back, he'd have to drive past our house before going to see his other friends.  It must have worked very well for him. I was completely fooled. Until one day I just happened to look out the window. Donnie was driving by. As he passed the house, several heads in the back seat shot up. (I just know they were probably laughing at me over it.)

And of course, when my son got home, a new  battle began. Except on Monday nights. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air aired at 8:00 pm.  It was a program that any family with teenagers could relate to. It was for many, our first introduction to the world of Will Smith. Even the theme song had us in stitches along with the kookie clothing he wore, and his baseball cap skewed on backwards.

Ah, peace reigned along with side splitting laughter. I saw my son in his real light. Just a kid, somewhere between boy and young man and both battling for position in his life. Donnie had his own battles just like any teenager. And I had the battle of not wanting to let go, wanting to shield him from the hurts of life that I knew were coming.

How I cherish these memories now. They bring me peace and remind me of the good times.

I'd love to meet Will Smith someday. I've kind of 'adopted' him in a way.  I'd love to share with him the memories that I hold so dear.

Yesterday Once More

John 14: 1-4

"Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God, trust also in me. In my  Fathers house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place I am going."

Today is my son Donnie's birthday's. It's hard to believe he's been gone almost eight years. I've been asked before (and maybe you have too) whether, with the passing of time if I'm over it. I can clearly say 'yes' and  'no'. Those of you who have been there know what I'm talking about. We grieve, we heal, we think, 'okay, I'm ready to move on.' Then just at that time we face another obstacle we didn't even know we had. Maybe it was a favorite song our child loved. Perhaps someone suggests a special place where we used to go with our child and we find ourselves unable to do so because we fear the memory will hurt too much. And sometime just the 'mention' is enough of a reminder to send us spinning. 

I have one of those obstacles. It had to do with a Christmas Tradition and Donnie. When he was little, we'd watch all the Christmas specials on television. But there was one in particular (which I'd rather not say because it is so close to my heart) that I found I couldn't watch. Just thinking about it hurt.

Thank God for divine intervention.

Last evening I turned on the television. I was going to watch a program a friend recommended. Instead the Christmas special I used to watch with Donnie has just started. I didn't change the channel this time. I instead, sat down and watched. It was just like yesterday, with four year old Donnie  sitting next to me,  crumbs falling from his little hands as he ate his cookies and the calming  presence of the Lord surrounding us. Total peace. This was one of those 'your days of mourning will end' moments. 

Some people might say the whole thing is a fluke. Not so.  God always knows what He's doing and He appoints the time to do it. 


I feel like I've been given the best Christmas gift of all; 'Yesterday Once More'

May you be blessed... 

Mary Netreba

The Holidays

Psalm 23 NIV

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want, He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His namesake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Hello again and welcome to One Breath from Heaven.  I apologize for not posting for the last few weeks.  I committed myself to NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month) Yes I decided to go for it and see if it was possible to actually write an entire novel in a month. I'm close, I have a few more days.

Yesterday was Thanksgiving, the official entrance to the Christmas Season. It's a fun time of year for many. The holidays just seem to bring out the best in some.

It can be however the worst time of year for those who've lost a loved one. Especially if it's happened in the current year.( I have an earlier blog titled  'The List of Firsts.' You may want to look at it. )

I used to be an Insurance Agent, primarily Life Insurance. Many of my clients became friends. The Christmas Season was absolutely the most trying time in their grieving process.  Hate to say it but there are some folks want to enjoy the Christmas season and may be standoffish about what you're going through. For your sake, let it go.

Thankfully there are also empathetic compassionate folks ready with a hug and warm meal.

If you are one of them, thank you.

I don't what I would've done but for the kindness and compassion I was given at a truly difficult season in my life made worse since my son Donnie's birthday was also in December.

Ultimately we have the Great Comforter who will wrap you in His arms and hold you as long as you want.

You are in my prayers as we enter into the most Holy Season...

Mary Netreba

If Only

2 Corinthians 7:10  "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret but worldly sorrow brings death."  NIV

There was a movie that came out about ten years ago called If Only. It revolved around two characters, a twenty something couple. The boyfriend was on the selfish side and made himself first in everything. Little did he know that the love of his life would die the day he once again put his needs ahead of hers. The regrets of how selfish he'd been made him wish he could do it over.  He awakes the next day to find his girlfriend is alive and well. He spends that day with her, foregoing all his other obligations, knowing at some point she'll be taken from him. He opens up and  for the first time shares his past, his hopes, his fears, everything. There is a moment when he knows she will die but he instead gives up his own life for hers. While If Only was a secular movie, it drove home the point of what real love is. 


Not too soon after receiving the news of my son passing did I begin the journey of guilt. If only I'd known. Why didn't I see it coming ...? Maybe I should have...   What would've happened if?...

We have a tendency for tremendous hindsight don't we?

False guilt of the 'maybe's and 'if only's however can consume us if we're not careful. The more we think about it, the worse we feel.  We can condemn ourselves to our own virtual jail cell of guilt.  I have a friend whose son died as a young man.  Not only did she have to deal with the grief but with false guilt because she and her son had an argument only a few weeks before his passing. It haunted her. "If only I'd known." she said.

I've voiced those same words myself in many circumstances in my lifetime but none as harsh as the regrets of "if only's" regarding my son.

And then, there's what I call the well meaning card carrying members of the false guilt society. "Maybe you shouldn't have let him/her", "this is why I won't let my child...', maybe it would've been better if..." 

How many of us would ever intentionally place our children in danger?

The real truth is that God elects  those who will die and when.  False guilt is a tactic of the enemy.

Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is  now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus  NIV

Until next time,

Blessings

Mary Netreba