If Only

2 Corinthians 7:10  "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret but worldly sorrow brings death."  NIV

There was a movie that came out about ten years ago called If Only. It revolved around two characters, a twenty something couple. The boyfriend was on the selfish side and made himself first in everything. Little did he know that the love of his life would die the day he once again put his needs ahead of hers. The regrets of how selfish he'd been made him wish he could do it over.  He awakes the next day to find his girlfriend is alive and well. He spends that day with her, foregoing all his other obligations, knowing at some point she'll be taken from him. He opens up and  for the first time shares his past, his hopes, his fears, everything. There is a moment when he knows she will die but he instead gives up his own life for hers. While If Only was a secular movie, it drove home the point of what real love is. 


Not too soon after receiving the news of my son passing did I begin the journey of guilt. If only I'd known. Why didn't I see it coming ...? Maybe I should have...   What would've happened if?...

We have a tendency for tremendous hindsight don't we?

False guilt of the 'maybe's and 'if only's however can consume us if we're not careful. The more we think about it, the worse we feel.  We can condemn ourselves to our own virtual jail cell of guilt.  I have a friend whose son died as a young man.  Not only did she have to deal with the grief but with false guilt because she and her son had an argument only a few weeks before his passing. It haunted her. "If only I'd known." she said.

I've voiced those same words myself in many circumstances in my lifetime but none as harsh as the regrets of "if only's" regarding my son.

And then, there's what I call the well meaning card carrying members of the false guilt society. "Maybe you shouldn't have let him/her", "this is why I won't let my child...', maybe it would've been better if..." 

How many of us would ever intentionally place our children in danger?

The real truth is that God elects  those who will die and when.  False guilt is a tactic of the enemy.

Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is  now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus  NIV

Until next time,

Blessings

Mary Netreba