If Only

2 Corinthians 7:10  "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret but worldly sorrow brings death."  NIV

There was a movie that came out about ten years ago called If Only. It revolved around two characters, a twenty something couple. The boyfriend was on the selfish side and made himself first in everything. Little did he know that the love of his life would die the day he once again put his needs ahead of hers. The regrets of how selfish he'd been made him wish he could do it over.  He awakes the next day to find his girlfriend is alive and well. He spends that day with her, foregoing all his other obligations, knowing at some point she'll be taken from him. He opens up and  for the first time shares his past, his hopes, his fears, everything. There is a moment when he knows she will die but he instead gives up his own life for hers. While If Only was a secular movie, it drove home the point of what real love is. 


Not too soon after receiving the news of my son passing did I begin the journey of guilt. If only I'd known. Why didn't I see it coming ...? Maybe I should have...   What would've happened if?...

We have a tendency for tremendous hindsight don't we?

False guilt of the 'maybe's and 'if only's however can consume us if we're not careful. The more we think about it, the worse we feel.  We can condemn ourselves to our own virtual jail cell of guilt.  I have a friend whose son died as a young man.  Not only did she have to deal with the grief but with false guilt because she and her son had an argument only a few weeks before his passing. It haunted her. "If only I'd known." she said.

I've voiced those same words myself in many circumstances in my lifetime but none as harsh as the regrets of "if only's" regarding my son.

And then, there's what I call the well meaning card carrying members of the false guilt society. "Maybe you shouldn't have let him/her", "this is why I won't let my child...', maybe it would've been better if..." 

How many of us would ever intentionally place our children in danger?

The real truth is that God elects  those who will die and when.  False guilt is a tactic of the enemy.

Romans 8:1 Therefore, there is  now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus  NIV

Until next time,

Blessings

Mary Netreba

The Comforting Aspect of Jesus

Isaiah 9 Verse 6

'For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.'


I must have read this verse countless times throughout the years, but  there was one part I never really caught and never even realized it. 'To us a son is given.'

When we lose a child, there are many things that instantly disappear. We are no longer secure. Our world is shaken to the core. Life as we know it no longer exists and we can never get it back. We're left to face daily the should haves, could haves, 'if only's, false guilt (something I'll post about in another blog), and of course, why. Always why.

I've known my Lord and Savior since the age of  28. As I grew in the knowledge of who He was, I felt pretty secure  I knew Him well. I was wrong. There was more.

After my son Donnie's passing, when I was in church one Sunday, I slowly began to see Jesus as a son. Before this I saw him as Savior, friend, and confidante. Maybe it's because I identified with His earthly mother, Mary. But what a blessing to add to the list of His aspects. Jesus, God's only son is our son too. He was given to us.

Praise God for His Revelation!

'Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.'

Son.

May you be blessed with His comfort and peace today


Your friend,

Mary Netreba

The Night I Had It Out With God

Luke 20:36

'...and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God's children, since they are children of the resurrection'

Welcome back to One Breath From Heaven. Welcome also first time visitors. I'm so glad you're here.

When we lose a child, it's so far beyond the natural order of life.  Acceptance of what's happened can eludes us, even when we think we're ready to move on. We feel a certain peace and cherish the memories  of our loved one instead of grieving. 

Suddenly, without warning, we're right back where we started. And we have lots of questions, don't we? But they all come down to one thing;  WHY?

Mine happened on Easter weekend when I flew to California to visit my son Donnie's grave. It was the night before I was scheduled to fly home to Pennsylvania.

"Why God?  Donnie was too young... He was my only son, my only child...  He was only 33."

I never heard a silence so loud.

And then God responded.  "I know."

I've never questioned Him since. God is merciful even when He sees us at our worst, when we dare to question Him.

We can go to Him with anything, even our anger.

Someday we'll be reunited with our loved ones and what a day that will be...

Blessings

Mary Netreba